Is Divorce & Separation Counseling Right for You?

This work is for couples who are already moving toward separation or divorce and wish to work together to improve communication, make decisions, and navigate the transition.

It is especially helpful when conversations have become difficult or unproductive, when decisions need to be made together, or when there will be an ongoing connection, such as co-parenting.

This process is designed for couples who are able to engage in a respectful, cooperative way. It is not appropriate for adversarial or highly escalated situations, and it does not replace legal guidance or produce legally binding outcomes.

What to Expect

This process helps you navigate the transition from partnership to separation, with a focus on communication, decision-making, and establishing a more stable path forward.

The goal is to reduce conflict and support both partners in moving forward with greater clarity, respect, and understanding.

The purpose is not to repair the relationship, but to help you end it in a way that minimizes harm and allows each person to move forward with stability and dignity.

Each partner is treated with respect, regardless of the circumstances of the separation. The focus remains on constructive communication rather than blame.

How It Works

Sessions typically involve both partners working together to address the practical and emotional aspects of separation.

This provides space for both partners to navigate difficult conversations, clarify decisions, and develop more effective ways of communicating during this transition.

The emphasis is to help each partner take responsibility for their role in the relationship, while also focusing on how to move forward more effectively.

Structure of Sessions

Divorce & Separation Counseling is typically a short- to medium-term process, and afterwards can be used intermittently as an ongoing resource, depending on needs and circumstances.

The first session is extended and lasts 2-3 hours. It begins with both partners meeting together to review the history of the marriage, what has led to the decision to separate or divorce, and your goals for the work. The remaining time is spent meeting individually with each partner to gather additional background, including family and relationship history, as well as each person’s perspective on the marriage. This is the only time individual meetings are used; providing space for each partner to speak openly and without filter, with the understanding that what is shared will not be disclosed to the other.

Following the initial session, sessions typically begin at two hours and may decrease to 90 minutes as the process progresses and greater clarity is established. Scheduling is flexible and can range from regular weekly meetings to sessions held as needed. The frequency and duration will vary depending on the pace of the process and periods of transition or decision-making.

No Secrets Policy

I use a “no secrets” policy in this work. The relationship is the client, and both partners are an essential and equal part of that process. After the initial session, I do not meet, speak, or communicate by email with either partner individually.

Information shared with me by one partner is not kept from the other. Communication is conducted with full transparency; phone conversations and email correspondence will involve all of us. If one partner reaches out to me, I will respond to both.

This approach supports trust, accountability, and a more balanced process, helping ensure that the work remains focused on communication between partners rather than outside of it.

In Person or Telehealth

Divorce & Separation Counseling is preferably conducted in person, with both partners present together. Because the work focuses on real-time communication, shared decision-making, and navigating difficult conversations, being in the same space allows for more direct interaction, greater accountability, and the ability to address challenges as they arise.

For couples who are not able to attend in person, telehealth may be an option. In these cases, it is important that both partners are able to engage in a respectful and stable way, as conflict can be more difficult to manage remotely. When these conditions are met, telehealth can provide a workable alternative while maintaining the structure and focus of the process.

When Divorce & Separation Counseling May Not Be Appropriate

• One or both partners are unable to engage in a calm, respectful, and cooperative way, or are unwilling to participate in the process
• There is a concern about domestic violence or safety
• One or both partners are seeking legally binding decisions or outcomes, rather than a structured process to support communication and decision-making (though notes from sessions may be shared with attorneys or mediators if helpful)
• There is an expectation that the process will be used to prove a point, assign blame, or gain leverage in legal proceedings